So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
