Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize