Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
