In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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