I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
