direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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