you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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