Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
