you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
