in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
