I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
