Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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