the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
