weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Of course I have a pirate flag
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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