no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
