Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
