I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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