Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
