dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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