They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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