I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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