I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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