He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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