Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
