come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
