Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
