I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Four minutes until I can fart!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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