How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
