so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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