I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
