I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
pray to the hookup gods
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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