the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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