dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
