I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
