the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
