Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
