3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
