So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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