Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
