Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
