u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
