So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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