Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
