Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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