the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
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I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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