I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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