i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need to sanitize my soul.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
