I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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