I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
