He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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