I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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