he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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