so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
