yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
