Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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