So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't deserve a penis
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My ass is underappreciated