Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.