Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
