In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
