Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
