I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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