He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
