Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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