Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize