And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
