direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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