there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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