return my video game
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
high people should be assigned attendants
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
