I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
